Cryptocartographer

  • ASK ME A QUESTION


  • Gun violence and confirmation bias.

    Sending ecards is the worst, most thoughtless thing a human could do. And someone capitalized on this and satirized them with someecards. They were funny little things, mocking the thoughtlessness and impersonal nature of sending someone the most effortless and hollow of gestures. The site was so popular that at some point, someone thought “You know what? We should allow our users to make their own someecards. We’ll call it… yourecards!” And it was a success. The sort of clever, wry people who appreciated the someecards started making their own funny yourecards and posting them to Facebook and that’s when it sort of snowballed into the obnoxious affront to the senses that they are today. They stopped being clever. Or, rather, the unclever ones became so popular as to drown out any potential clever ones in a murky pool of greasy, stagnant swamp water. The sort of swamp water you would look into in desperation to get a drink, and you’d see your reflection in the water only to realize that under the surface was a SKELETON OF A DEAD HUMAN! Now they are constantly being posted by the sort of people who probably have a Garfield poster somewhere unironically. And there are no more jokes. They are simply statements, framed in snark, posted in low-quality jpegs. Then there are rottenecards, which are 100x worse because they’re like the lead-filled Chinese bootlegs of something already dripping with poison. Recently I’ve seen ecards that are so deteriorated by the jpeg’s lossy format as to be nothing more than 4 single, out of alignment pixels filling a 280x280 window. If my wife ever laughed at a someecard, I would divorce her even though that’s against the teachings of God. 

    1 year ago